I always wanted to be a bad guy. Bad guys get all the girls. A former avatar of mine meant “bad ass” in English. It was aspirational.
I have been a bad guy since then. So, in one way, I became what I wanted to be, except I never really felt like a bad boy. Even though I did things that hurt people, I never wanted to hurt them, and so I never felt like I was truly bad.
In the course of being bad, insofar as I thought other people would think me, if they knew what I did, I discovered that I was interesting to women. So how’s that for a kick in the head lesson? Being bad drew women to me. Hmmmm.
Now I’m good again, and everything is stable and ordinary. My wife and I are doing well again. I have no desire to get bad again. I’m just fine with trying to get a little more “good.”
There’s more to life, I guess, then getting laid. There’s more to a relationship than attracting a beautiful girl who wants to pull down your pants at the least glance. Those things are fun, of course, but as you get older, I think one sees them in a greater perspective. The bad boy thing is still fun, but it’s also fun to be a good boy. In either case, you can find people who will love you. What else do you want?