My mom is abusive (although she generally cut out the physical abuse when I grew up and left home, she keeps up the emotional kind). On previous Christmas holidays, she and my stepmom have had the most rollicking fights, combined with oddly generous gift-giving that was awkward and uncomfortable. And then other times, she tells me “You only love people that give you money and gifts! I should have raised you even more poor [we were on welfare when I grew up], because then you’d appreciate love like only I can give you, instead of from your grandparents who always spent so much money on you!” When really, I avoid her because she’s a freaking bitch, no other reason, ya know?
So this year I have barely talked to her. (We only saw each other at my grandpa’s memorial back in August.) And what should appear yesterday but a Christmas card from her, in the mail, with an extravagantly large check written to me. It brought back all that “you only love people who spend money on you” crap, especially since it feels like she’s trying to get back in my good graces by offering a seeming bribe.
So, I sent the check back, explaining why I couldn’t accept her generous gift. I told her that I never again wanted to be accused of loving her for money. While the family craptastic politics are why I’m answering the question with this story, sending back her check felt AWESOME.