Fluther: If you suffered sexual or physical abuse as a child, as ...

If you suffered sexual or physical abuse as a child, as an adult, do you have anything to do with your abuser (assuming that he or she is still alive)

Asked by Jude (32198

) February 9th, 2012
8 responses
“Great Question” (4

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Sadly, I am related to my abuser. I do talk with him, but choose not to have a close relationship with him (brother/sister). I find that he does his best to get involved in my life, but I won’t let him go there.

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Topics: rape, molestation, sexualabuse

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Answers

For a long time, I did, because he was always at family events. At some point, though, I realized it was making me crazy, and I finally said “no more!” If he was attending, I didn’t go. It was a sacrifice, because the rest of my family was very close. I missed having Christmas at my grandparent’s house and such, but it was definitely better for me to cut ties.

augustlan (47745

)“Great Answer” (5

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My abuser (uncle) died several years ago. My events were from my childhood (he was an adult). Neither I nor any member of my immediate family had anything to do with him following the “incidents.”

picante (11498

)“Great Answer” (5

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Physical/Psychological abusers: Parents, I deal with them everyday, and it’s nice to see that they broke the cycle of abuse, but anger, hate, those feelings stay.

Sexual abuser: I was one of the “uncommon” cases where the person who, yeah… was a complete stranger, never saw him again.

King_Pariah (11484

)“Great Answer” (3

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It’s taken several years but I’ve been able to cultivate a healthy relationship with my abuser. I don’t associate with him too much but there are no hard feelings. My brother on the other hand could care less if the abuser curled up in a ball and fell into the Grand Canyon.

I have other family members that have treated me horribly and I no longer associate with them. They can be the ones falling into the Grand Canyon for all I care. This is where I need to work on forgiveness.

josrific (2575

)“Great Answer” (4

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I haven’t talked to my dad in almost a year. I guess I secretly would like to have a dad, but in reality I feel ambivalent about it. Maybe it’s best I don’t think about it

tinyfaery (44107

)“Great Answer” (5

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My mom was physically abusive. We had a complicated relationship until the day she died. I loved her but I didn’t love the things she did sometimes.

Sadly, I could never talk to her about the things that happened as she’d get incensed. So I have this whole in my heart that could have only been filled by her apology. Reasonably I know she would have never acknowledged nor apologized but now that she’s dead there is no possibility that she could.

tranquilsea (17775

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