One of my close friends has custody of her 3 grandchildren, one of whom is aged 10. In their neighborhood, at the elementary school, she said that it’s quite common for the kids to have at least one parent who is currently, or has in the past, been in jail. My friend’s daughter is currently in prison, for the third time. The girl’s father has been jailed multiple times. Each of the 3 grandchildren has a different father, and each of them have been in jail. My friend’s daughter (who I cannot stand) has pretty much hooked up with, or dated, if you want to put it more politely, ONLY men that have been to jail.
This particular neighborhood is a seedy area right in the middle of a pleasant suburb. It’s like a ghetto suburb. So it’s shocking to me, but completely normal for them.
As far as I know, the 10 year old doesn’t smoke or drink yet, nor does her 13 year old sister. Their older brother, who is just 18 apparently started smoking pot when he was around 13 or 14. No one (except me) thought it was a big deal.
When I was 10, back in the early 70’s it would have been un-thinkable to hear of someone that age drinking with other kids, although most parents let their kids drink a very tiny bit of wine on Christmas and Thanksgiving, but it never would have happened outside of the home.
When I turned 11, this new girl came to our school. She and I hit it of and became best friends. She was a latch-key kid, and the first time I went to her house, she pulled out a cigarette and started smoking and asked me if I wanted one. I was horrified. She quit, shortly afterwards, because no one else in our class smoked, except for one awful boy, the bully of the school.