We always had parties for our kids at home, at least until they got old enough to enjoy a destination party (bowling, ice skating, movies, pool, etc.) No themes at all for 1 year olds… just lots of colorful balloons and crepe paper.
As they got older, we had several themed parties at the house: Little Mermaid, Halloween (for our October girl), Garden party, Luau, Puppy party, Winter Wonderland (for our December girl), Roaring 20s Murder Dinner party (for a teenager) and so on. When they were young, the parties would usually include a related craft activity, a custom-made pin-the-blank-on-the-blank (tails on mermaid and puppy, bee on flower, nose on jack-o-lantern, etc), sometimes face painting, a physical activity, presents, cake, goodie bags. Very low key, but the kids always enjoyed themselves.
**Oops, just read all the answers above me. Can you just have the party at the home of one of the NY relatives? It really will be more about the adults than the kids at this age, so someone’s house for a laid-back get together will be just fine.