Apologies can fall into two camps––expressions of genuine heartfelt regret/remorse or, as is more commonly the case, excuses for behavior. It’s the latter that are a bit difficult to stomach. In that I had a colleague who routinely offended me and routinely offered the excuse (aka, the apology), I’ve done a lot of reflection on this topic.
I’ve fallen victim to getting too caught up in the words of an apology without given proper notice to the intent. It’s easy to focus on “if I offended you . . .” or “but, I still think . . .” and lose sight of the notion that a person felt it necessary to ‘splain him/herself and make amends. I’ve tried to take the high road in hearing and accepting an apology and focus on the person’s desire to right a wrong rather than getting caught up in the words.
It’s been a real lesson for me, as I’ve become acutely aware of my apologies when I’ve offended or upset someone.