I stepped back into my memories today. Thinking of what it was like to be in elementary. I can still see the two giant trees outside my classes window in the 3rd grade. This time of year, the tree barely had leaves and they were mostly orange, red and yellowish. I didn’t realize it then, how lucky I was to live and breathe everyday. I was just going with the flow and it was a good flow. Sadly, today, the flow has been disturbed once again. This time a gunman went into an elementary school to commit such a heinous crime. I tried stepping into this mans shoes. All I could feel was numbness upon the shooting. There after, once the first shot was fired, I felt rampage running through my blood. I also felt the filth in my soul and worms that ate my heart. I also stepped into the shoes of the children. Scared and confused everything was surreal. My heart hastened and the moment felt like an eternity. Nothing made sense. Nothing felt natural. The flow had stopped. Stepping back into the shoes of the gunman, I realized I was a dead man walking. I became possessed and a living monster, a dead man walking. I step again once more into the children who have survived, and I’m relieved to see my mother. There she is running towards me, crying and all. I don’t realize it yet, but I’m crying too. I’m confused and I don’t know if I could ever go back to school? Do bad people like this exist a lot now? I wonder? I fear? How could I go on.
Well guys these are some of thoughts I’ve had about today. Trying to digest this story and consume it is nearly impossible. There really is just no logic as to what happened. I’m just overall bummed out. Bummed out that these children were loved by parents, friends, family. It takes so long to raise a child. So many emotions from the time of conception, to birth and now, death. I’m bummed that this man felt this was the answer to his problems. I don’t know how I would personally respond to something of this magnitude if any single family member were involved.
I want to write a letter to the immediate families of the victims and give my condolences. I want them to know a nation is behind them and is caring for them. I know this is a huge tragedy and only time may heal. Should anyone find a way to contact them via post card please PM me. Or state it out here. We should all let them know as a nation we stand by them .