My wife was telling me about a radio show where a researcher was saying that parents are still very important for teenagers. Maybe even more important than for young children. When we think about the trouble that teens are famous for getting into, one might begin to see that they could have a point.
Anyway, my wife worked all throughout the children’s youths. It was only last year that she “retired” (because if she hadn’t, she’d probably be disabled by now, due to stress from work—like half the people she left behind are now in deep trouble). She’s been a stay at home Mom, and she’s been there for the kids and is doing all kinds of things to make them feel special.
I say this to say that it is probably important for stay at home fathers to be home when their kids are in school as well as before school. Just because they are in school from 8 to 2:30 doesn’t mean they don’t need a parent at home from 3 to 6, or even before they go to school. It doesn’t matter if it is a mother or a father. It matters that there are people around to care for the kids, so we don’t have latchkey kids.
Parents or other caregivers help the kids do homework. Remind them to practice instruments. Feed them snacks. Keep them from watching too much video (Youtube or TV or smartphone) and help them figure out constructive things to do. Kids need structure. Teens need structure. Hell, adults need structure, but it’s easier if someone else provides it than to try to provide it for yourself.
Are SAHDs looked down on? Well, yeah. Why aren’t they doing their traditional role of being a provider? What’s wrong with them?
But why do we respect providing more than parenting? Because people in the work world have more money and power, and since they are traditionally men, we look down on men with no power. Even feminists do, I bet. Even Betty Friedan probably wouldn’t be interested in a man who stayed home to take care of the kids. Very few women would. I’d be happy to be proved wrong on that, by the way.