Heres what I think, as the leader you need to remain calm, no speaking. I have 2 dogs one has anxiety and I have babied him more than the other I think at inappropriate times, like going to the vet, talking to him and inadvertently I think I have made it worse to the point the vet would have to muzzle him and it was a whole ordeal and he still has plenty of issues which I don’t know how to overcome or even if it is neurological.
All I can say is at 10yrs he still gives me issues with just today knocking an older gentleman down. Not too long ago it was a very young and strong female :/
Then there is my other dog who has always been more balanced and when her time came to go to the vet I just passed her off to the vet I didn’t say a word and they actually told me that she was so sweet during her stay & did I actually have to come and pick her up because they will miss her! :/ When I picked her up after 3 weeks of ICU she was so happy to see me and I was happy to see her. I did not freak out I just greeted her like I do when I get home.
When she goes to the vet now there is no sign of stress or anxiety & she will get needles, get checked, have her nails clipped, and if she is waiting while I am calming down the Shepard will just lay down, its quite awesome actually.
Dogs read body language and can hear your tone of voice and one little mistake and the dogs just know something is not good. My girl is actually quite good at reading emotions so if my bipolar gets out of hand before I know it she will sit on my foot and let me know she does it with humans and animals, I guess she just wants balance.
So, I am all for writing the letter and maybe slipping it in one of those little ID collar things that hold paper, small note but efficient for you to say “I love you. Be safe.” Or something similar. ;)
Oh, BTW Good luck. :)