@JLeslie They teach us that in school yes, but yes again, it is just used that way, whatever the marital status it originally implicated.
As madame is used for a married woman, we pretty much have to assume that a woman 40 or so is married, so out of respect you say madame, and if she’s not married, she’ll expect to be called that anyway. The formalities are really blurred in between when religion ruled everything and today, so being called madame if you’re older is not a sign of disrespect and most unmarried women don’t mind. Originally it is completely stupid I think though even though I’m totally happy that people still call me miss, I should enjoy it while I can, lol I mean for a man, it’s monsieur as soon as he’s no longer a teen, whether he’s married or not. Should be the same for women.
@bookish1 Well I guess this depends on where you live and what the culture is like, but for formal stuff here, unless you know the person is married or not, mrs or mme is usually the default setting you would use. (in Québec) If you’re sending formal e-mails to beaurocrats in France, I would say play it safe and stick to the guidelines by using mme, unless again, you know the person personally. They’re a bit more upitty over there than we are here in Québec when it comes to pragmatism.
However, to avoid uncomfortable situations or confusion, often times, you can omit the entire thing out of it, and say just write Dear Symbeline Fuckface. Of course, NOT adding mrs or mr can insult some people or seem unprofessional, so mme is usually the default. OR if you really want to avoid any kind of discrimination issue, you can play the ignorance card and go; Dear mr/mrs Fuckface.