Oh my. I had something happen last week. I am finally learning to cook meals that take longer than 20 minutes to make. So I’ve had many mishaps but I think this is the worst one.
I was on the last step of making my enchilada sauce (purée it in the blender). I forgot to put the lid on before powering it up. As the sauce splattered everywhere, I was frantically smashing buttons on the blender to stop it, to which it sloshed into my eyes (you can imagine the lovely stinging sensation and temporary blindness of the hot spices) ...when my other hand caught the open container of sour cream. The sour cream flipped up in the air and splattered all along the side of the dishwasher and the floor. Piper, being at my feet waiting for any crumb to drop, got slapped in the side of the face with a giant blob of the cream. At this point I had managed to blindly, and painfully, unplug the blender. Sour cream was oozing through my toes and enchilada sauce was…just everywhere (including all over the top half of me). My eyes were burning as if hell itself permeated them. I don’t know where Piper was at this point. I was at the sink slamming my face into water. Since they made my kitchen for giant people, I have to go on my toes to bend over the counter into the sink. As I was doing this, my sour cream gobbed foot slipped and I flattened my breast like a mammogram procedure. Oh the pain.
After all the craziness, my partner came home to no dinner and me laying on the couch with sore swollen eyes and a bruised breast/ribs. Piper still had dairy crust on the side of her face. I didn’t clean out the cracks in our hardwood floor until the next day (and Piper got her bath). I still have bruises on my chest. I’m also still finding enchilada sauce in the strangest of places.