@Pachyderm_In_The_Room Probablly etiquette is too formal of a word for most people, it’s more about doing what is customary, but cutsoms vary. I think now that families and friends are from many backgrounds and many different parts of the country and even different countries, we kind of don’t have one standard. At my wedding my friends who came from MI all brought a gift to the wedding (I almost forgot to have a gift table, my caterer thought of it in case someone brought a gift, I never think of people bringing a gift to a wedding). My staff at work gave me a big box a few days before my wedding at work, full of all the every day dishes that had not been purchased yet on my registry. 2 bowls, 4 plates, 3 mugs. A hodge podge and one of my favorite gifts I received. I had received almost everything on my registry, all sent to my house in the weeks before. Then at my wedding I received several cards with checks in them from other relatives (the checks I had planned for, my mom was responsible for holding the checks).
Some of it seems to be social class related also, but not all of it. The higher status socioeconomically the less likely someone brings the gift to the wedding I think. Although, in the south, that seems to not always be true.
In the end, I think people shouldn’t stress about it, because really, if someone is going to be upset about how they receive a gift, well, that is just ridiculous.