I always think of it is the big worry is that they stay alive and healthy. Some conflict between teens and parents I think is extremely healthy. The teen is practicing standing up for themselves with safe people; their parents. Any child who is extremely obedient really worries me, especially girls. Are they going to be good obedient wives and employees also? Anyway, the conflict is usually about the teen wanting some independence. I think when teens specifically do things to spite their parents that is worrisome. I never did that. I did do some things I know my parents would not apprive of, but not to spite them, not to “show” them, not to try and get away with the very thing they would be angry about. When I did something they wouldn’t like, I felt a little badly about it, but I wanted to do it. For me, it was regardless of them. It gave me zero joy to go against them, but it was pursuing something I wanted.
Also’ kids act up with their parents, but often they are well behaved when away from them, and that I think is really significant. As a parent you want to know they know the right way to behave, to be gracious, to be polite, responsible, curtious, etc. That they will be “good” adults when punishment from parents no longer exists. An internal compass for what is right.