The following is not a rant, I’m just having a hissy fit over this video game I’m playing.
Fucking Saint’s Row The Third. I love this game, but I’m gonna rant anyway. I mean, I got my character to level 50, and she’s immune to pretty much everything the game can throw at me. I can never die, besides from explosions.
However the game suffers from some goddamn poor mechanics, and it’s really pissing my ass off. These certain missions, you have to rescue prostitutes from pimps by getting them in your car and driving off, and then dropping them off to specific safe spots.
Now I don’t really mind that the gang you’re saving them from seems to have an infinite amount of people coming after you, blows everything up and cracks the Earth in half…but the fucking hookers won’t get in your car, they walk in place, or against each other and…then they get killed. Or they take FOREVER to get in your car, more than enough time for the car to be damaged and no longer usable, or for some guy to pull me out of the car…at which point, the hookers also get out. Just fucking stay in there you bitches, I mean, I’ll be right back!! What the hell? You think you’re safer out there??
For FUCK sakes. Or, I speed off in the car, and it gets stuck in some graphic, and can no longer move and…by Odin’s one working eye. Fuck, if you can’t design proper AI, don’t fucking do it. I’M IMMORTAL AND I CAN’T CLEAR THE MISSION. What the fuck is that???
Plus, it has the audacity to have a timer. I fucking hate time limits in video games I FUCKING HATE THEM!!!
All my life, I have been a gamer, and all my life, I have been PLAGUED with motherfucking ass sucking Nazy fucking time limits and it makes me want to destroy existence itself. I would gladly throttle the person who first came up with this bullshit.
Man, I’d trade my mortality in the game if they took away the timer. As if I’m even trying to get this fucking platinum.
Cough. Anyways, I’m done. Also, fuck you, heli assault. And thanks for listening, yall. And if you didn’t, that’s fine too.