It all depends on how self aware one is and if they have ever done any personal growth or communication work.
I consider myself to be a good communicator and am not easily offended or upset, I am assertive and take a pretty clear and direct approach to issues. I often encounter defensive and worse, passive aggressive people that have the communication skills of a 4 yr. old when under duress. I am, as a woman, an rare rational thinking personalty type and not given to allowing my emotions to over rule candor and logic.
I find it very hard to relate to a lot of women that are feelers, because they tend to use emotional reasoning in situations that call for adhering to the facts and logic without going all emo. I have a very warm and caring side, am quite easy going, but if you want to rile my emotions be irrational and unable to stick to the topic at hand without resorting to emotional blackmail and other irrational responses to problems that need to be addressed with logic, facts and candid discussion.
Those that cannot differentiate between reason and emotion drive me insane. lol
I recently confronted my boss about her minimizing my work duties when she hired me last year, and asked for a raise.
She attempted to try and rationalize her very unclear and minimized job description. I kept my cool, stuck to the facts and presented my issues calmly without allowing her to derail the topic.
It was quite funny because I observed she couldn’t make eye contact with me, was trying to walk away and was flustered that I would not concede to her flimsy “reasoning.”
At one point she attempted to try and tell me that ” well, that’s part of the job” as if she could arbitrarily continue adding more and more responsibilities on me that were not previously discussed.
In reply to her dysfunctional “reasoning” ( read: taking advantage of me ) I calmly stated that all these unmentioned extras had value.
She blurted out as she scrambled for an exit ” Okay, okay, you’ve got it!” the raise
I think I intimidate her. Nice switch on the employee/boss relationship. haha.
Many people feel threatened by clear, direct communication.