This thread reminds me of something I heard when I was in the Navy:
Q: What’s the difference between a fairy tale and a sea story?
A: A fairy tale starts with Once upon a time, and a sea story starts with This is no shit!
In 1970 I was being transferred from Vietnam to my new duty station on the east coast. I had a 30-day leave approved, and was flown to San Francisco, where I was supposed to catch a flight to my home, and then I was to proceed, after a little rest, to my new assignment. To begin with, my departure from Vietnam was delayed for two weeks, but it was never reflected on my papers. I asked about it, and was told it would not pose a problem for me.
When I got to San Francisco, I thought I would take a few days and visit some friends before heading home for the rest of my leave. We spent a few days partying, with several kinds of recreational drugs. One thing led to another, and one of my friends ended up being busted for possession with intent to distribute. Her bail hearing was set for two days later. While we were at the courthouse, I saw an acquaintance, whom I had met partying with my friends. He told me his truck had been impounded and he could not get it out without a license, and asked if I could have them release it to me. I was young, naive, and eager to be of help to my new-found “friend”, so I agreed. I was also stupid! Instead of releasing the truck to me, it was I who was impounded! Charged with stealing the truck!. I did not have enough money to come up with bail and get transportation home or to my new assignment, so I ended up spending a few days in jail while they sorted it out.Eventually, they found the real perp and the truck theft charges were dropped. By that time, my papers made it look like I overextended my travel time and was AWOL. So they held me another day until they could transport me to the nearest Navy installation, which at that time was on Treasure Island. The Shore Patrol there had my situation cleared up in about 45 minutes.