@Coloma It is one of the worst. Especially the moments of doubt trying to convince yourself your own mind is wrong. It can make you crazy living with a liar. My husband is a horrible liar. He does all the things that can tip people off. LOL. His whole family sucks at it. My husband doesn’t easily pick up on when people lie, I guess maybe that goes hand in hand with his inability to lie well.
My exboyfriend lied constantly. He had to, he constantly cheated.
One thing I have realized is lying is defined differently by different people. I don’t mean the difference between a white lie and a lie, I mean things like lying when the person really has a good intention, believes themselves they can follow through, and then the whole thing falling apart. It’s more like an unkept promise. I see it in cultures where the men have a a lot of ego/macho. For instance, my FIL told my husband and I that he was going to give us his villa in FL when we got married. Villa in this context is a one story townhouse, very simple, nothing fancy schmancy, but a big deal to me. We were living there, my husband had lived there while he attended school. I never in my wildest dreams would expect the gift of a house. That would be unheard of where I come from. Within a few months his mom starts talking about how she doesn’t think it was a good idea for her husband to promise that and how completely broke they are. We actually were paying their bills in America. But, part of the bills were the mortgage where we lived and the car my husband drove. Eventually the whole thing comes to a head and his father says something like, “it has my son’s name, he has the same name as me.” I say something along the lines of, “that doesn’t meet the standard of giving us the house, it won’t be ours.” I’m sure they perceived me as a money focused bitch, but the truth was, I never in my wildest dreams would expect a house as a gift! I perceive the situation as his father lying and promising something that was not a good idea from the start. I always believe my FIL’s intention, but I don’t always believe it will happen.
My husband’s mother will deal out the silent treatment, and within that she uses it to “not lie.” She doesn’t like to lie, which is good, so what she does is not answer questions and withholds the truth. To her that is not lying. To me it is still lying.
His parents are not constantly dishonest like my lying exboyfriend, but their idea of the truth is different than mine. Thank goodness my husband thinks the same as me. How that happened I don’t know.