People say “intimacy” so much that the word becomes a cliche and loses its meaning. But that really is the best thing. When you’re with someone and really care about each other, sex amplifies your feelings of connectedness and your mental/emotional connection amplifies the pleasure. It becomes this wonderful feedback loop.
So for instance, kissing their shoulder during sex isn’t just that action. It’s kissing the shoulder of your favorite person on earth at that moment. That might feel nice physically, but the affection behind it matters just as much, and you feel both at once. And that prompts them to do something else to you, etc etc etc, until you’re in your own little bubble of sensation and affection.
That truly is a best-case scenario, and it’s rare. It takes kind of a leap of faith to feel that way about someone. If you’re wrong about them, what a disappointment. Or it could be a flash in the pan.
Without the intimacy, it’s kind of like, “oh, hey, cool. I’m getting laid. I wonder what’s on TV right now?” Like, my enthusiasm is maybe a 6 on a scale of 1–10.