Our parents were happily married for 45 years until Dad died. They set a great example for what a solid marriage should be like. Maybe too good. Two siblings divorced after 25 and 23 years in relationships that turned sour for various reasons, and they fought tooth and nail to save it when there wasn’t any more hope. A third sibling has been married for 37 years. It has been a challenging relationship, but they appear to have weathered the storm and found their own way to be happy together.
My partner’s immediate family history is about the same. His parents are still happily married; two divorced siblings; and one that is a bit complicated, but still together. Once we marry, it will be the first time for both of us.
Here is what I have learned: Life is messy. No one, unless they have an ulterior motive, enters into a marriage thinking that it might end. Every relationship is different. If you have parents that had an ideal marriage, it may be a mirage. It’s a matter of choosing a partner carefully and expecting hiccups along the way. Most importantly, respect, trust and communication are the key factors in a successful relationship. If you don’t have those, it doesn’t matter how solid your parents’ marriage appeared.