Thank you for all your help. I understand the overall opinion, but even though it may sound foolish to some, I still want to stay with her. I think we can still work even with this issue. Like I said before, she originally wanted something even larger and the “size requirement” has gone down considerably over time since we’ve been together. I know that may not sound the best, but I say that to point to the fact that I think as she experiences more and more of the real world, she realizes that some of her expectations can be out of bounds. Even though she said she wouldn’t want something under one carat, I think she would still say yes after talking with her again and seeing her body language. I think that she just really wants something 1.5 or above. Please don’t dislike me for my decision to stay. I love her and want it to work.
@gailcalled I think that if we had to make that choice she would make the right one. She is usually very sensible when it comes down to financial issues. She doesn’t tend to spend a lot of money for clothes and is always searching for deals. I can’t lie that it is a thorn in my side concerning the ring, but I really want to find an alternative to breaking it off. I think I’ve made progress on the topic over time and I think as she see’s more of what the real world is like after college, her expectations will come into focus.
@jca I do think she really wants to get engaged to me. I think that she sees it as she rather enjoy our relationship until I can afford the ring she wants. Like the ring may be a gauge for if I’m financially stable enough and ready to take that step? I guess that still sounds kind of bad though.
@livelaughlove21 I know from the point of view of seeing this issue she may seem like a gold digger, but I promise she isn’t. This is the only thing where we have dissenting financial opinions. She understands what I can manage financially when it comes to dates or gifts and always seems excited and overjoyed no matter what I get her. That isn’t to say I’m cheap because I like to do nice things that I think she deserves within the bounds of what I can manage. The ring is the only thing where this type of thinking takes place. I have thought about the cost of the wedding day and honestly that does worry me a little as well. However, she seems like she doesn’t want to spend a ton of money on the wedding. She does imagine it very classy and elegant, but that’s definitely reasonable. It’s not that she wants the huge ring because if I really have the money, I want to make her happy. I guess it’s just the principles behind it that bother me. “Would she really say no if I could only afford something small?” That’s what keeps bugging me on the inside, but I do think it’s something we can progress through over time.
@JLeslie You are definitely not bratty at all! I agree that it should be a ring she loves. Thank you for your help. I have the same opinion concerning not having a problem with her wanting a bigger ring, but the fact that there’s a possibility of her saying no if I presented her with something otherwise. I feel like the only true way to know would be if I actually asked her under those circumstances. In person, her body language seems to say that she would say yes regardless because she loves me, but vocally she stands firm on what she wants. It’s hard to know the complete truth until it actually happens though. Hopefully I’ll be able to afford what she really wants and it won’t be a problem at all, but I still just want to know if she would say yes regardless because I feel like that would be the case for what real love is.
Thanks again everyone!