@Eggie: “In retrospect, how do you drop the anger. It is easier said than done.”
I can’t speak to the Christian approach, but one story comes to mind. But I did experience a ton of anger for much of my life. It wasn’t until I really started paying attention to the effects of my anger that I caught glimpses of my relationship with that anger.
Some part of me really believed that anger was somehow hurting the objects of my anger. Intellectually, I knew this was not the case, but some part of me felt that the revenge fantasies and the repeating the events over and over were real. In a sense, they were. The physiological and emotional response of recalling such events are indistinguishable from the events themselves. And we know that this is harmful to ourselves.
But when I was really paying attention, through my meditation practice, I started to see that I would pick up this anger and feel awful, and then feel awful about the fact that I picked up the anger in the first place, etc. But what was compelling me to pick up, hold, and identify with this anger? When I couldn’t find it, and I could see that there was no utility in doing so, it seemed as absurd as reaching down to pick up and hold onto that bee that’s right in front of me. It is sitting there on the flower. If I decide not to pick it up, it will eventually fly away and I will see the whole, beautiful flower. Will another bee come by for the flower’s nectar? Sure. But the more bees I see pass, the more I learn to appreciate that the beauty of the flower can be witnessed by letting the bee move on. And I can even view the bee. I can watch that bee, see what it does, and even see some beauty in it. There is no need for me to pick it up.
I also think of it like food. When you’re eating a healthy diet on a regular basis, you know what you feel like when you are eating healthy food. As soon as you shove your face with something awful, you immediately feel the effects and you might swear off ever doing that again. Why would you want to feel that crappy when there are so many amazing foods that make you feel great. Anger is that food that might be very tempting to fill up on. But now I know that I’ll pay for it later and will regret it.