Telling my son, who was 7 and had just started 3rd grade, that his father had died. He was there when I got the phone call, so I didn’t hold it back though.
Telling parents that their baby has hearing loss never got easier. I know that there are many people with physical differences that are very happy in life, but for the parents who envisioned a ‘perfect’ child, it is a grieving process. Also, there are tough decisions to be made about whether to give the child hearing devices or to raise them without hearing. Parents who have no knowledge of deaf culture look to the professional for answers, but we can’t tell them which is best for their child, because we don’t have a crystal ball.
I’m trying to think of an occasion when I had been holding back and finally came out and said something. The only thing that comes to mind is when I had to tell my mother that I was pregnant shortly after I’d started grad. school. It was a monkey-wrench in my life plans, and my mother is a very critical person, so I knew she’d be disappointed and I put it off for a while.
Otherwise, I learned pretty early on not to hold back, but rather to be honest so that resentments don’t build. It’s worked pretty well for me, but I am continually working to improve my filters so that I don’t just blurt out my opinion, but rather that I present it in a diplomatic way to minimize the drama.