I get the impression that you’re young, and so at the stage of life when one typically does a lot of imagining about the kind of life one would like for oneself. You’ve got expectations, or at least dreams, of what a good life would be like, and when you look at the reality of your present circumstances they just don’t measure up to the way you’d like life to be. That leads to the kind of dissatisfaction you’re feeling now.
So this distance between the life you desire and the life you have is too great. How to close that gap, then? It’s not unusual that you think in terms of overhauling your circumstances, with all of their boring and annoying aspects, hoping that completely different circumstances will be closer to your ideal. And there may be some truth to that.
But it could be too that your expectations could use some adjustment. What is really required for a fulfilling life? It’s easy to overestimate this. It certainly isn’t necessary, or even possible, to get rid of everything that irritates you. And it isn’t possible to eliminate the dull or dreary parts of life and keep only the highs. A big piece of contentment—probably the biggest piece—is seeing this “mixed bag” quality of life and accepting that. If you can only be happy when the pendulum of life swings to the high side, then you will be miserable much of the time. When things “aren’t right”, you’ll fight against your own life, trying to get the pendulum back up to the high side; and even when that happens you’ll live in anxiety, knowing that it can swing back down.
Things get much better when you make your peace with these swings. This means learning to live the downside just as fully as the upside, not pushing against one and chasing after the other. Your life then becomes whole and seamless, and you can relax about it.
I don’t know your circumstances. It may very well be that something needs to change, and that you can and should help that change along. But most of us—and probably you too—can do more to appreciate the life we have.