I had this drinks party at christmas.
I invited Moneypenny, she is always good value.
But then she brought that bloke, James. What a penis.
So she brings James along, “Oh God”, but I thought “Christmas spirit”, so I said, “Hi, James, we have got mild wine, or I think there is some beer in the fridge.”
Cock asks for a martini. A Martini!. I said, “I am sorry James, I do not think I have got any Martini. Why would I have any Martini? What do you think this is, 1973.?”
I remember last time, it was only a BBQ, and he turned up in his tuxedo, and stood around making smug remarks. I do not know what Moneypenny sees in him.
Where does that guy get off? He keeps leaving these guns around! I think he gets them free at work.
It is Moneypenny I feel sorry for.
I said to Moneypenny; “Can you manage another finger in there?”, meaning “Finger of Vodka in her glass of drink”, self explanatory.
And then James starts rolling his eyes, like he had some kind of stroke, and says “Oh, you can always get another finger inside Moneypenny.”
I just literally did not know where to look. “Finger inside Moneypenny”! And I do not think Moneypenny was even at all turned on.
Well, she was probably still recovering from that ‘Darren incident’.
So Darren turned up, and starts getting a bit lippy about James’ cigarette case. He said it was gay.
Everyone is laughing, a bit cheeky, but, you know, but then suddenly James picks him up and throws him through a window!
And that is why Darren can not walk now! Poor guy landed on a railing spike and it went straight through his spine!
Everyone is in shock, apart from James, who strolls over to the window, glances down, and says “What a piercing bore”.
There is no such expression. Well, the railing was right next to a crusher, it is pretty clear he wanted to say “crushing bore”, but he missed and he was making the best of a bad job.