I don’t think you can generalize about genders like that. It wouldn’t have mattered if you had a penis in your pants in either of those scenarios to me if I were in your husband’s place. If someone told me things that appear to be unrealistic/or against the facts I have available, I’m going to treat them with a lot of skepticism regardless of the gender of the person making the claim.

Perhaps men are more skeptical in general than women, but I would need to see real evidence before making that conclusion.

Yes there are still misogynists out there, who think women’s place is in the home, barefoot and pregnant (and all that crap). I’m not trying to deny that those scumbags still exist. I was speaking in general terms about the average male.

My distrust if people knows no gender.

Well, Rick and I grew up just before women’s lib got started so we come from that misogynist age. At least he can over come it. He has a couple friends his same age, who never did. One’s a real asshole. The other is it just “it is what it is.”

It’s more that women play games, (if that is the way to put it) she will come in all pissed off and when we say what’s the problem?
We get you know damn well what the problem is, type thing.
What are we men supposed to do?? GUESS?
We men should be more in tune to our wives, girl friends thoughts and feelings your right, but for the most part we are not, but you women say communication is one of the most important things in a relationship, so next time don’t make us guess TELL US, PLEASE!
That may be why we don’t trust women.

I do now, but there was a period where I didn’t.

Why should they?

Why shouldn’t they?

There you go…

@josie Hmmm…you’ll have to explain that response to me?

I wouldn’t trust a man who didn’t trust me because i’m a woman, it makes no sense why wouldn’t they unless that woman has given them reason not to trust her and within a relationship trust is everything or at least should be. The man i’m with trusts me and i trust him we are a team and he challenges me but always for the better not for the worst but i know he trusts me implicitly.

The short answer is, no, it is a false statement.

The long answer is this: Some people distrust others. We aren’t born that way, and the ability to distrust develops based upon experience. Distrust is not limited to one gender, such as men. All humans have this ability.

In both cases sited, the hot ashes and the tornado, it sounds as if your husband relied on factual information to question your statements. Why would ashes that haven’t been touched in months be hot and why would there be a tornado in the area when it isn’t being reported on The Weather Channel? In these cases, I would question both statements as well.

The question’s details aren’t providing all of the information. It is a great leap to go from your husband doubting the validity of two statements to calling it distrust and then applying it to a group of people.

Is is possible that these two scenarios haven’t been forgotten because, in these cases, you were right and questioned about it? If so, it is time to let go of it. Are there there times when you make statements that are more often wrong than correct? If so, he may have learned to question your judgement. Does he act this way with all other women and not men? If so, this is certainly a reason to raise an eyebrow.

@Pied_Pfeffer, the question didn’t originate with me. I just stumbled upon the article yesterday and thought it would be a good question for Fluther. We don’t exactly have floods of questions any more. The two personal examples I gave in the details related to that question.

Oh, and in answer to your final statement, as I also said in the details, he has never questioned me since, no matter how crazy whatever may sound.

At least he has the good sense to have learned from his mistake. There are just as many ditzy men as women. Why do you think his doubt had anything to do with your gender?

Because we grew up in an age where “boys are smarter than girls” was a common chant on the playground, him in the 50’s and 60’s, me in the 60’s, 70’s. We grew up in an age where woman were portrayed as pretty little things, doing house work in dresses and high heels. That really started changing in the 70’s but it was almost too late for us by then.
Plus, I’ve notice the difference in the way he responds to suggestions from men and the way he responds to me when I make the same suggestion.
But he really has gotten better, so that’s good. Men of my dad’s generation have gone to their graves still thinking they are superior.

~More of this man hating business. It’s not your gender, it’s you. Frankly you just have issues with men and you need to get over it. Trust is earned and is genderless. You have a particular world view that for some reason gives you the impression that this is a gender issue. It’s not. Most men don’t trust anyone until they earn it.

It’s pretty hard to tell just with those examples. It does seem like you were unfairly treated in those cases.
What are you like in general? Do you say what you mean and mean what you say all the time? ...and those are just two examples where you’re not taken seriously?

Some people regularly say things that allude to what they mean instead of saying just what they mean. This forces everyone around them to interpret and guess, and maybe be dismissive because… what the F** are you talking about?!? If that’s your habit then you reap what you sow, people learn to not take you seriously.
In my experience women are far more likely to do the alluding thing than men. I also know plenty of women who behave to the contrary, they have figured out what they mean before they speak and express themselves very clearly (e.g. Elizabeth Warren).
Of course it’s totally possible you are well-spoken and the men you have for company are making stupid assumptions about you, but maybe not.

@Dutchess_III Thank you for pointing out that there is a link to an article in the details, which I overlooked. I apologize for missing it and reading the connection to your two examples.

What stands out in the article is that the author has learned not to ‘trust’ based upon his experience in dealing with women when they become emotional while telling him about a problem. People in an emotional state rarely speak, or at least come across, as thinking from a logical state of mind. Personal experience shows that more women than men do this.

No matter who is doing the judging, it really isn’t about a lack of trust but being doubtful. If this behavior is common in an individual, it is understandable why the facts are questioned in certain circumstances.

Would you be willing to allow Rick to read through this thread and share his insight?

If the intent of this question’s details was to provide supporting data to the article, then it goes back to my initial response: there seems to be data missing. Maybe Rick (husband) needs facts before buying into a statement. It could be that he has learned over the years to assume you are over-reacting when in panicked mode. He may also have learned that even though he still feels that way in certain situations, he is better off not saying it out loud.

Thank you @Pied_Pfeffer. For the rest who seem to think I made this up out of thin air to rant about things that happened long, long ago, I repeat: It did not originate with me. I stumbled upon the article, and it just prompted this question. I gave two examples of when Rick didn’t trust me, probably because I am a woman, and the time we grew up in. Things have changed since then and he has never doubted me again.

That is all. It’s just a question, and it doesn’t have that much to do with me personally.

@Pied_Pfeffer It could be that he has learned over the years to assume you are over-reacting when in panicked mode.” I assume you’re referring to the tornado. His “Pat the silly little woman on the head” attitude really pissed me off because, after 6 years (we’ve been together 12 now,) and after going through countless, sometimes terrifying storms together, he should have known I’m not one to over react or even go into panic mode over a Kansas storm, or anything else, unless it involves my kids unless it was something completely out of the ordinary as that one was.

He should have known that about me.

With regard to the general question: yes, many men simply do not trust women (and they require more evidence to believe something when a woman says it than when a man says it). There is a fair amount of scientific evidence on this (often relating it to implicit bias and/or the availability heuristic). There is also a very interesting book about both the phenomenon itself and the way it contributes to social inequality by the philosopher Miranda Fricker. The book is called Epistemic Injustice.

Interesting @SavoirFaire. That’s kind of been my experience with men. They seem to want to blow off what I have to say, initially. Then they think it through, and come up with it as though it was their idea. Smh.

Here is a thought: Whether male or female, doesn’t their mistrust come into play through nurture? It is formed within an individual. So how do we learn to mistrust? And specifically, how do we learn to apply the questioning of one sex over another? Doesn’t this come from learning by example or from a handful of personal experiences, or possibly both?

Isn’t part of of generational? Are the youth of today adopting the same attitude?

All of that is very true, but in this male/female instance I think the mistrust may stem from the historically “superior” position of the males. When I was growing up boys really believed they were smarter than girls. They believed girls were dumb. That’s something my husband grew up with too, although he knows better. It’s just a knee jerk thing with my generation. I think that as society unscrews itself, those issues will change.

@Pied_Pfeffer Of course it comes in through nurture. But we live in a sexist society, so we’re all nurtured in sexist ways whether we realize it or not. It’s in the culture, and a lot of it is very subtle. You don’t even need personal experiences to pick up on it. Just seeing the assumptions at work all around you is enough.