@Adirondackwannabe Lol, Lorina Bobbitt. I remember when I was in school and that event happened, after that all the boys in my class were using the name “bobbitt” as a word for chopping off dicks. It was even verbalized; he was bobbitted! Or I’ll bobbitt him or again, he suffered bobbitting.
“I don’t know of anything worse after an all night binge than waking up next to someone and not being able to remember her name, how she got there, and why she’s dead. That’s when I say “I’m never doing this again!” Followed by “And this time I mean it!”~ AstroChuck.
Cookie, cracker, or bread crumbs. Or burrs, brambles, stick-tights.
Anything uninvited that moves independent of me.
Marbles. Discomfort and noise.
A used condom.
Ice. Wet.
Waxed paper, TRY it. or sheets of paper of any kind.
Sorry, I just realized I answered the question:
“What would you hate to wake up and find in your bed?”
As in, groggy and unsuspecting.
Sorry to offer a serious answer to a silly q, but… a smothered or crushed infant. How the hell do people co-sleep with their babies without getting freaked out at this thought? Gives me the willies and I’ve never even had kids.
ETA: Just read this article, which explains it a bit for me. Nothing against parents who do or did this; I get that there are a lot of benefits. Still gives me the willies, though.
@wildpotato After having kids, you develop this bizarre radar that’s always on alert even when you’re asleep. Handy for not smothering your kid. But that also means you’re probably not getting your full rest. Might explain why I wake up bleary-eyed and my husband wakes up totally refreshed. :P
SIDS scares me more than the possibility of smothering my kid. :(
A cockroach.
When I moved into my apartment, I discovered it was infested with cockroaches. I called my sister to try not to freak out, and her only advice to me was “Don’t sleep with your mouth open”.