I honestly don’t understand why BOTH sides of the “born that way” dichotomy keep yammering on completely ignoring the fact that, statistically speaking, there are far fewer people who are exclusively gay or straight in terms of both their desires and actions. They fall on a continuum (as the Kinsey scale illustrated years ago.)
Yes, there are people who self identify as a perfect Kinsey 6 (exclusively homosexual) and many of my gay friends have described themselves as precisely that.
So, for someone like that, who knew from a very very young age (4–5) that they were “different”, realize at puberty that they’re gay and have never had a single hetero experience or desire to proclaim that they were born that way is certainly understandable.
But there are huge numbers on that bell-curve continuum for whom it’s not that black and white. But in spite of that, the politically active gay community exerts a lot of pressure on them to declare themselbes to be a perfect Kinsey 6 in order to put a stop to all the coercive efforts (reparation therapy, shaming, etc.) to get them to change their “choice”.
And likewise on the hetero side loudly proclaiming that it’s totally choice so they can change if they want to.
OBVIOUSLY, it’s a whole lot easier for a bisexual Kinsey 2 or 3 to “choose” to ACT straight than it is for a Kinsey 6. Why is that so difficult for either side to comprehend?
Besides, genetics is not unfailingly destiny. One can be born with the inherited genetics for diabetes and yet never manifest it because they made careful and wise choices regarding diet, weight, and exercise all throughout their life.
Both sides act as if genetics is the be-all and end-all of sexual orientation. But it just isn’t that simple.
The primary reason I stated that being gay or straight isn’t ONLY genetic is because science just has not proven that EITHER WAY.
However, from my years of experience teaching children as well as accounts from gay people too numerous to mention, that sexual attraction is largely INNATE (for whatever reason).
Obviously, you can’t always tell someone is gay just by looking at them. But sometimes it’s as plain as the nose on your face.
I taught 3rd and 4th grades, an age where typically most kids are not yet having sexual matters predominant in their thinking to the degree that it will once puberty begins.
But there were some kids whom I absolutely knew were gay for a thousand reasons having nothing to do with sex.
That’s what I mean by innate. They were just being their natural selves. And that natural self was gay.
It certainly wasn’t a choice they made. What kid in their right mind would willingly choose to be the most despised kid on the playground; the one being taunted and teased etc.?
The answer is obvious. But there were also obviously many more kids for whom it was not that obvious. They’re the ones who grow up “straight-acting” until they realize it’s a futile effort.
So, if it isn’t genetic but yet innate, then what is the cause?Frankly, we just don’t know the definitive answers to that yet but that doesn’t prevent BOTH SIDES from loudly proclaiming their view as the only correct one. Hogwash!
But it makes no difference if gay marriage is legalized or not. These all grew up in heterosexual families and will continue to do so. No extinction anytime soon.