My parents gave me a boy’s name in the 1970s when that wasn’t really done. They also dressed me in the gender neutral Garanimals outfits. For the first half of my first year in preschool, the teachers thought I was a boy. I was punished when I tried to ‘sneak’ into the girls’ bathroom and shamed because I was the last boy in class who still had to pee sitting down.
Because I kept asking my parents odd questions like “When are you going to teach me to pee standing up?” And freaking out when my momtried to take me into the ladies room in public, my parents gradually figured out something was amiss. My mom made me wear a dress to school one day and suddenly, after finally getting used to being a boy at school, I was getting in trouble for trying to sneak into the boys bathroom all the time.
I completely gave up being human at school and spent the rest of that year pretending to be a dog, crawling around on all fours, barking and growling at all the other kids. I hid under tables and threatened to bite the teachers whenever it was potty time. So.. In the end I “flunked” preschool and had to go back a second time.
I’m a pretty neurotic person as an adult and I wouldn’t be too surprised if my preschool gender bending just broke me for life. Every now and then, I still feel some anxiety when I use a public toilet. No matter what I do, I’m never totally convinced I’m using the right stall.
I can’t tell you how many times I’ve had screwy things happen because of my name. I was nominated, won, but was disqualified for prom king my junior year due to some clueless school secretaries was the one that stood out.
I spent 5 years of my life as a professional drag prince (kinda like a drag king, except instead of impersonating men, I impersonated boys from sitcoms and horror movies—long story of how I got the job saved for another time). I always thought it was just a weird set of coincidences that led me to the job, but maybe my time as a boy in preschool created my destiny. Who knows?