First off, I find that the sound system in most theaters is good enough that you can’t hear someone eating popcorn at arm’s length. Considering that I can tell a Ford from most other cars from a block away by the way the power steering pump whines, that not hearing others in the theater eating and drinking isn’t because I’m deaf. And if you manage to down enough soda to make slurping noises, then odds are that you drink no less than 15 liters of soda a day (probably closer to 25) in the first place and are probably not healthy enough to be unhooked from a dialysis machine for more than a few minutes at a time let alone in a theater anyways.
That said, I don’t go to theaters for the food. If I wanted nachos, I’d go to Gorditos and get some real nachos rather than a smear of yellow petrochemicals splorted on a pile of Tostido’s. My wife and I generally just get a couple small (22 ounce) drink and some popcorn with extra butter and call it good.
We do have Cinebarre where you can order full meals (burgers, 10” pizzas, cocktails… yes, they serve hard liquor too, and also have a wine list!), and the floors are sloped enough that the waitstaff can walk between rows without blocking views.
@Kardamom We have a couple theaters here in Seattle that do Samosas, and a drive-in near where I was back East did spinach pies that were almost-but-not-quite Spanekopeta (less flaky crust).
@ragingloli It sounds to me like you have a bunch of crappy theaters near you, what with the flat floors and speakers weaker than an iPhone. The way you make it sound, my living room is probably a better theater than anything you’ve been to even with the volume on my sound system turned only halfway up!