It’s possible to embrace the passing of your loved ones. It’s all in a mindset.
My great aunt was one of the most positive influences in my life during her later years, She took me in, no questions asked, when I had no place to go, and let me stay as long as I needed to get on my feet. She was unfailingly loving and generous in a no-nonsense way. And don’t get me wrong, she had 4 kids of her own.
When she passed, I was somewhat devastated. She had a gray Grenada that she zipped around in all day, 90-to-nothing, going and doing for everybody that would let her. When I saw a similar gray car on the street, it would stab at my heart. I’d see a white haired lady in the distance and before I could process it, I’d think, “Oh, there’s Aunt Tootie!” Stab.
Finally one day I took the tack that those sightings really were her. Not physically, but in spirit. As long as I am alive to remember her (as here) and celebrate her life, a part of her lives on. I embraced the sightings. A boxy gray car would zip around the corner out of sight, and I’d think, “Yup, there goes Tootie!” and smile. Granted, the smile was sometimes through tears (as at this moment), but the tiny bit of bitter just makes it all the more sweet.
We all die. But none of us truly leave this life until there’s no longer anyone left to remember us. You weren’t left holding the bag, you were left holding life. Yours, and a portion of those dear to you that are now gone. You do everyone a disservice by not carrying on in a way that honors those past from this life, and those that will hold your memory dear after you’re gone.