Social Question

AdventureElephants's avatar

Are you punctual?

Asked by AdventureElephants (1412points) January 15th, 2016
23 responses
“Great Question” (4points)

Why or why not?

I do not believe it is possible for me to become a punctual person. I believe it is in part because of my ADHD. I have tried setting my alarm a half an hour earlier, not looking at my social media or internet before leaving the house, setting my clocks fast, laying my clothes out the night before, showering the night before, carpooling… You name it. I am always 5 to 10 minutes late, and I always drive like a bat out of hell.

Are you punctual? Do you believe this is an innate quality, or do you have to try hard to be a punctual person?

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Answers

janbb's avatar

First one here, ain’t I?

flutherother's avatar

I hate being late but I don’t have wings^^

janbb's avatar

^ It’s flippers, I tell ya, flippers!

Dutchess_III's avatar

I am punctual. I add 15 minutes to everything to ensure I will arrive on time.

When I was a teen I wasn’t, though. In fact, my friends would tell me to meet them where ever 30 minutes before they really wanted me to be there. Then I grew up.

My husband is always late. Always. For one, he doesn’t start getting ready until 15 minutes before we are supposed to leave, and since it takes him 30 minutes to get ready….well, we’re late. I don’t understand that. How hard is it to look at a clock and do the simple math?

Earthbound_Misfit's avatar

Mostly. I don’t like being late. It does depend on what I’m doing and who I’m doing it with. At work, I really try to always be on time. With family I’m a bit more relaxed.

I don’t think punctuality is an innate quality. Not being punctual can be a sign of disrespect for those you are meeting. A person who is always late can be considered arrogant. If you really want to be on time, you will be. I’m pretty sure if you had to be at the lotto office by 10 am or you missed out on your million dollar payout, you’d be there.

I have a colleague who is always late to meetings with her peers. We’re always kept waiting for her and we all have heavy workloads. I asked if she’s also late for meetings with her superiors. She said no. Says a lot.

Dutchess_III's avatar

I think it’s disrespectful and rude, too @Earthbound_Misfit.

I think it can also be a passive / aggressive control thing. I think that’s what the deal is with my husband.

One time I had something that was important to me to attend. I was leaving at noon. I told him the night before that if he wasn’t ready by noon, I wouldn’t say a word, I would just leave with out him.

And I did.

You know…he’s made a bit more effort to be on time since then.

MollyMcGuire's avatar

It’s mine. Habitually punctual I am.

LuckyGuy's avatar

Yep. To a fault.
That’s one of the reasons I enjoyed Japan.

zenvelo's avatar

Yes, I am punctual. Something I inherited from my engineer father, where time is a function and a dimension, not merely a social construct. Sometimes to a fault, when I was younger I often showed up for an event right on time and been the first one there.

And when I was old enough to learn about “socially punctual”, I would always be exactly a half hour late.

I agree with @Dutchess_III and @Earthbound_Misfit.

AdventureElephants's avatar

I couldn’t tell you how many times I’ve been written up. I’ve lost a job over it. I took a behavior modification class and chose “being on time” as the behavior I wanted to change. I did not change the behavior.

I probably would lose the lottery. I am late for meetings with my superiors. Dates. Social and business gatherings.

I think it is innate because I link it to being so easily distracted. I lose my attention span midway through conversations that last more than a few sentences. I load only half of the dishwasher. Getting ready to go anywhere on a timeframe is always kind of a frantic experience because if I can find my keys then I can’t find my wallet. If I manage to find both then I leave the house without my satchel and have to turn around. It’s never ending, and extremely frustrating. And exhausting. I get on my own nerves. Constantly.

Cruiser's avatar

They set the atomic clock to my schedule. Not sure why I am so punctual other than all I know is I despise hate waiting for people who are late.

ibstubro's avatar

When we met, I was habitually early and my SO was chronically late.
Now we’re both usually late.

As a defense, I started trying to be right on the spot…forgetting that the reason I was habitually early was so I could remember those few Items I meant to take but hadn’t gathered.

dxs's avatar

NO.

dxs (15160points)“Great Answer” (1points)
gondwanalon's avatar

If being on time is not important to you then you will likely be late a lot.

Only you can determine why being on time is not important to you.

If being on time is important to you and you are still late most of the time then you may be like my friend.

I know one guy who is nearly always late. He’s very intelligent and friendly. Everybody loves him even though he pisses off a lot of people who count on him to be at certain places on time. I’m not a psychologist but I have an idea that in this particular case he just doesn’t correlate cause and effect well.

I’m on time 99% of the time. If I’m not 5 minutes early then I consider myself lake.

dammitjanetfromvegas's avatar

Some people have a difficult time estimating how much time it will take them to get to where they need to go. There is a term for this and I wish I could find the article I read so I could share it, but I can’t. For some people it has nothing to do with arrogance, priorities or importance.

I am one of these people. I also have a difficult time estimating lengths and distances. It’s just the way my brain works.

Coloma's avatar

Yep, I am impeccably on time, it’s just what you do to show respect for others time. Of course I have been late on occasion but I take being on time seriously. I also return phone caqlls and don’t leave people hanging. It;s called maturity.

longgone's avatar

No.

I, too, have suffered negative consequences for this. Here’s an article from WaitButWhy which may help differentiate between those people who are inconsiderate, and those who are late while feeling horrible.

If you’re like me, you care about being late. I spend most commutes extremely angry, I feel like I want to slap myself for being late again. There is very little I don’t care about, and I certainly care about making people wait. I’m sure everyone has some kind of fault which they know of, but can’t manage to change. This is (one of) mine. I realize that I’m being seen as rude, I am constantly catching up, I am utterly exhausted when I finally arrive. Being late, unless you’re entirely insensitive, is not fun at all.

This quote from the article resonated with me:

As much as they may hurt others, they usually hurt themselves even more.

Yep. Because I know what I am doing to others, and – I still do it. And get angry. And start a new day, resolving to do better…and then, I’m late again.

msh's avatar

@longgone – thank you for the article. It made some great points. The cartoon with the monkey and the agitated person made me laugh outloud. I know. But it is soooo true.
I have had such regimented days, clocks and deadlines, planning ahead. Non-achievement meant going back later to fix, but having to continue onward before analysis as to why something didn’t work. It is stressful. Then have others depend upon you to make them meet deadlines. Everything a deadline.
I am a lot more laid back now. Yes, I have that funny monkey slowing me down, but the agitated person sometimes sits down to chill also. All of us are late occasionally, but worse has happened.
A car accident because you’re late- Not worth it! Getting so upset that you experience upset hangover all day? Huhn-un. There are plenty of horrid things going on. Don’t make this one belong to you. You’ll do better when it means something, or someone unable to fix things, depends upon you.
I have learned the best words Ever! There is no reply. You are stating the truth- or should be. I use – if I care: ” I’m sorry, I’m doing the best I can.”. If I don’t feel bad- or the situation is not under my control- just ” I’m doing the best I can.” and stop. The end of my side of the discussion. (The glance that is attached to the second may help to back up my words also. :) )

I have a keen sense of… what? Uh- perhaps- irritation? When a time is set, and someone shows up early. Holy crap does that make me want to… I dunno, but it’s not nice. I have myself, my habits and my have-to’s down. If we make a meeting time. I’ll be there. Mayhap 3 minutes late but whatever. But. If someone arrives early and wants to pester and hurry me? It ain’t happening. I will slow down and be out exactly when We were set to meet. You show up early? Bring a book.
I like these ways of M.O. now. Feels good. Less stressful!

flutherother's avatar

This question reminds me of John Cleese in Clockwise

OpryLeigh's avatar

I’m very rarely late for anything, I’m usually early.

msh's avatar

Bring books!

Stinley's avatar

I build in time so that I am not likely to be late. I get quite uptight about being late. On the other hand I am quite forgetful so might forget I should be somewhere. It’s a problem for me

Dutchess_III's avatar

When I was younger I tended to run late. I broke myself of that habit. Sometimes you just have to force yourself to do things you don’t want to do. Force yourself to load that whole dishwasher, not just half. You can make yourself do that. Force yourself to start getting ready 15 minutes early than you normally would.

Being late is a bad habit that can be broken.

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