To each his own. I’ve never been married and I think if I were planning a wedding, I would be more practical than to spend tens of thousands of dollars on a wedding. I also wouldn’t expect or want my parents to spend tens of thousands on my wedding, either. To me, it could be a down payment on a house. However, how could I begrudge someone from spending a lot on a wedding? Who the fuck am I to say how someone else should spend their money? If someone wants to do it and it means a lot to them, it’s not my place to say they shouldn’t. It’s like anything, a car, a house, a fancy piece of jewelry. If you want to buy it and it’s your money, that’s great. I’m sure people could look at some things I spend my money on and be critical, but it’s my money. I earned it and I’ll do what I want with it. For the bride and groom, if they earned it or they can get their parents to pay for it, how can that bother me and why should it?
I’ve heard people talk about wanting to “cover their plate” with the gift, meaning pay for the cost of the plate at the caterer’s by giving an ample enough gift. Around here, a plate might be $150 for cocktail hour and three courses with open bar (and this does not include the other stuff like DJ/band, photographer, etc). For me, to go to a wedding with a date and pay $300 as a gift is very cost prohibitive. I’m wondering (maybe it’s worthy of a separate question) if other people feel that they try to give a gift that “covers the plate.” I feel obligated to, but as I said, three hundred bucks is a lot of money to give as a gift.
@JLeslie: I’ve heard people who produce things for parties, including weddings, say that the reason why things cost more for weddings than for regular parties is that when they’re for weddings, the bride will often come back time and time again with requests or changes and it takes hours of the producer’s time to go over the requests and changes.
Thank you, @ibstubro and GQ to you for crediting me!