When my Ex left (I was 60.)

I was last Sunday, actually.

I was 32 or 33. It was when I realized that I and no one else had to decide whether and when to have my incurably ill cat put down. At the moment that I faced the question, I understood that it was really my first grown-up decision.

This was after getting married but before having children.

You were going to be the Queen of England? I was going to be the Queen of England. Alas, I share your pain.

For the longest time it was so weird that I owned my home, the first time I bought. Only gown ups, like my parents, did that.

When I was 17 and my dad died and my mom checked out of reality. I was the youngest and the only one left at home. So I did the grocery shopping, made all of her appointments, took her to all of them, cleaned, did laundry.
Please do not think I am complaining. It is what it is.

Wow. What happened to your mom?

I’m still not sure I qualify.

@Dutchess_III It was 1975 and apparently doctors gave women valium like it was candy. She was out of it for almost 2 years stoned on valium. One day we got into a fight over it, she packed up and went to her mom’s in another state and left me with 20.00 for groceries. I was in community college and working part time and making about 50.00 a week. She was gone for 2 months but came home dried out and ready to work.

So were you able to reconcile?

Yes, they sure did give women Valium like it was candy. My mom started taking it in 1967. It was probably much of the underlying problems she had, including 2 suicide attempts in the 70’s. Drs didn’t know. It was a miracle drug for “women’s issues.” (Women’s hysteria and shit.)

Oh yes, we reconciled. She had many, many health issues the rest of her life and I took care of her.

I was in college and had an awful accident with a firetruck. The newspaper had and article that said ”(My home town) Man cited for accident” Today I am a man!

When I was 16 I had to commit to going onto a medication I could never stop taking (as long as it continued to work for me, because you become allergic to it once you stop taking it). This medication also has never been tested on pregnant women. So at 16 I was deciding to give up on having kids. I was so angry, kept thinking “I’m too young for this shit.” But that shit doesn’t care how old you are.

Shit. :(

It’s OK, that med stopped working for me, so I stopped taking it, got my colon removed, and can have kids now if I want. Though only via C-section.

I am not yet convinced.

You know I adopted my oldest daughter. She was from my ex’s first marriage. We had a lot of trouble conceiving the next one. 2½ years into our attempts I mentioned adoption. He said, “I don’t wanna raise someone else’s kid!”
I just stared at him. Not sure what prompted me to write this, but there it is.

My time has not yet fully come…

@Jeruba I’m not kidding when I said I cried at the realization, nor was I kidding about my age. Years of therapy have helped; I no longer cry about it.

I have been married twice and raised two children and I’m still not yet an adult. It’s probably too late now.

I was in my thirties.

@Hawaii_Jake, sorry, I didn’t mean to treat your distress flippantly. You invited funny stories, so I thought you meant this more or less jocularly.

I really did have such a fantasy when I was younger. My father was Canadian, so we paid a lot of attention to QE’s coronation. I actually remember watching it live on TV, and it looked great to me, orb and sceptre and ermine and crown and all. I also had a Coronation coloring book and Coronation paper dolls. I thought it would suit me to be queen; it was a way better idea than being a fairy-tale princess. Then later I thought maybe I would just marry Prince Charles. Later still he turned out to be too boring. But I still tried to walk as if I were a princess in disguise; sometimes I still do.

@Jeruba I have not written clearly. It is still a light-hearted story. At least, I mean it that way.

Work is stressful at the moment, but I’m happy to say it’s temporary. The stress is leaking out to other areas of my life. :) All will be well again soon.

When I was 4.

I feel pretty much the same way now (@59) as I did as a child, so I think one’s realization of being an adult is largely an acceptance people buy into to be accepted by society.

If I were to pick one moment I realized I was an adult, I would have to say the moment I understood it was no longer my mother’s responsibility to care for me.