Fluther: If you cut a muffin to put butter or a spread ...

If you cut a muffin to put butter or a spread on it, do you cut it vertically or horizontally?

Asked by jca (36062

) October 29th, 2016
31 responses
“Great Question” (2

)

I never get muffins when I’m out, but about a week ago I needed something and so I got one from Dunkin Donuts. The counter person cut it vertically, so each side was equal (top and body of muffin). When I cut them at home, I cut them horizontally, so the top is one piece and the body is the other.

How do you cut a muffin?

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Topics: food, eating, breakfast

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Answers

I break the top and bottom apart, eat the bottom first, then the top.

No butter, unless it’s an awfully dry muffin and really needs it.

Seek (34805

)“Great Answer” (2

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@jca Horizontally, @Seek Yes break apart.

si3tech (10014

)“Great Answer” (0

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Vertically

ARE_you_kidding_me (20021

)“Great Answer” (1

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Horizontally, of course. What kind of barbarian would do else?

CWOTUS (26102

)“Great Answer” (0

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Me, @CWOTUS, I am the barbarian. I AM THE BARBARIAN!!!! (Raises scimitar, brings it down on the unsuspecting muffin, cleaving it into bloody halves).
@ARE_you_kidding_me, we can feast on muffin halves together!

canidmajor (21246

)“Great Answer” (4

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Symmetry rules. Cut it vertically.

If I have a sesame seed bagel and only want to eat half, I cut it vertically so I get half the seeds, and then cut the half horizontally and place those two pieces in the toaster oven.

LostInParadise (31921

)“Great Answer” (1

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Horizontal thirds. The muffin top and then the stump is sliced in half. No butter/topping.

___

When they get delivered for meetings they are almost always cut in half vertically.

BellaB (6456

)“Great Answer” (0

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@Seek Me too.

RedDeerGuy1 (24487

)“Great Answer” (0

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Horizontally, if I cut it at all. I usually break the top off, slather the butter on, allowing the butter to melt down and through the bottom part, and replace the top. Then, if I am using a fork, I’ll cut a piece vertically with the fork, and put it in my mouth. Usually, though, it’s just me and my buttery fingers.

Strauss (23635

)“Great Answer” (1

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I start from the edge and cut it in a spiral, then I unroll it and lay it flat on my plate.

…

Actually I want to try that now and see if it works. I go vertical when I have a knife, and horizontal when I am without a proper slicing instrument. Either way I’ll usually skip the butter.

Soubresaut (13714

)“Great Answer” (1

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I wonder if muffin cutting preferences are a window into personality somewhow.

ARE_you_kidding_me (20021

)“Great Answer” (1

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@ARE_you_kidding_me: Maybe they can be used for hiring purposes or when vetting a prospective romantic partner!

jca (36062

)“Great Answer” (1

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I’ll bet that some of the monsters who would cut a muffin vertically are also Little Endians.

CWOTUS (26102

)“Great Answer” (1

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Pretty sure I’ve just been insulted, but having already established my barbarian leanings, I’ve probably been called worse and survived. :-P

canidmajor (21246

)“Great Answer” (2

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@canidmajor @CWOTUS just revealed some tech knowledge that only an embedded programmer or electrical/computer engineer would know. To answer that I will say I cut my teeth on the Z80, 6800 and 68000. My endianness preference swings both ways. I’m bi-endian.

ARE_you_kidding_me (20021

)“Great Answer” (2

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I go vertical, but somehow I don’t think it matters.

elbanditoroso (33170

)“Great Answer” (1

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No, @ARE_you_kidding_me, any reasonably literate reader of English should know what a Little Endian is.

CWOTUS (26102

)“Great Answer” (1

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One little two little three little Endians…

elbanditoroso (33170

)“Great Answer” (2

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To cut a muffin sounds like a euphemism for farts…or worse!

Strauss (23635

)“Great Answer” (3

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I do not.

ragingloli (51974

)“Great Answer” (1

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Depends on the muffin’s size but ususally I cut it vertically.

Pachy (18610

)“Great Answer” (1

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@CWOTUS then this is perhaps a little evidence of the personality differences between side and top cutters.

ARE_you_kidding_me (20021

)“Great Answer” (0

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We have staff for that

ucme (50047

)“Great Answer” (1

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Well, @CWOTUS, if Theodor Geisel didn’t write it, I guess I just a iggerent fūl.

canidmajor (21246

)“Great Answer” (0

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I had not realized how difficult it would be to find the origin of the terms “Little Endian” and “Big Endian”, as they have now been completely taken over by the computer industry.

So here you go.

CWOTUS (26102

)“Great Answer” (2

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I thought that you had just forgotten the tilde in your previous post, @CWOTUS, hence the response that I gave. Tongue was in cheek. I forget that that doesn’t fly here.

canidmajor (21246

)“Great Answer” (1

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@jca inspired me. Banana muffin tops for brunch today!

BellaB (6456

)“Great Answer” (1

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I’m a star bellied sneech, and I eat my toast with the butter side down.

Seek (34805

)“Great Answer” (1

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Why not just eat it without anything?
Maybe just a cup of hot chocolate, or coffee.

ragingloli (51974

)“Great Answer” (3

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@ragingloli: It’s fine with me to eat it without anything, but still it would probably be cut so it’s easier to handle.

jca (36062

)“Great Answer” (1

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Vertical cutting explains Trump. Some of you are fucking bonkers and should be locked-up.

@Seek :: Butter down is the right way. Maximum flavor!!!

johnpowell (17881

)“Great Answer” (1

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