You got: Sir John Falstaff!
You may be a bit vain and maybe even a little cowardly, but more importantly you’re the person everyone wants at their party. Let’s hit the clubs!
I am not a huge Shakespeare fan, and I haven’t read the Henrys or the Merry Wives of Windsor, so I Googled him:
Though primarily a comic figure, Falstaff still embodies a kind of depth common to Shakespeare’s major characters. A fat, vain, boastful, and cowardly knight, he spends most of his time drinking at the Boar’s Head Inn with petty criminals, living on stolen or borrowed money. Falstaff leads the apparently wayward Prince Hal into trouble, and is ultimately repudiated after Hal becomes king.
Yeah, I can live with that.