“Donald Trump is so privileged that the first job he ever had to apply for was president of the United States.” –Stephen Colbert
“Americans like Trump because he’s got loads of money, which is sort of their version of being clever. He’s all over the news, even though he looks weird. Like a guinea pig staring at you through the porthole on a washing machine”.—Barry Shitpeas
Scientists now say that Donald’s claims about his penis size could be true – it’s known as the Pinocchio effect.
Trump’s limo ran a light yesterday and hit my car … but my insurance won’t cover it – they say it was an act of God.
Trumps doctor told him: for an erection lasting more than four hours, he should concentrate on thinking about something other than himself…and avoid looking in mirrors