It’s tricky for me because it isn’t a “who.” It’s my own immune system. It is nobody’s fault, I have no one to blame, no place to put all the anger it causes me. My immune system isn’t conscious, it isn’t evil, it won’t respond to reason or pleading, it just is what it is. Nobody can simply convince it to stop being an asshole.
It is “my problem” in the sense that it only affects me and nobody contributed to causing the problem.
Getting help for my problem costs more money than a normal individual can possibly afford, so I need to use other people’s money. Many argue that denying me their money to treat my problem is not something I could consider persecution – what right do I have to their money to treat a problem that is mine and mine alone, that they played no part in causing?
I have no argument against this, because how can you convince someone who doesn’t just see it innately that helping other people is a good thing to do, or that people’s lives are more important than people’s money?
But I didn’t cause this problem either, and I didn’t ask to have it, and if there were anything in the world that I could do in order to not have it, I would have done that thing ten years ago. And though some will call me naive for it I just cannot accept that it’s okay to let people die because they were unlucky in the genetic lottery, if we can prevent it.
It’s such a helpless feeling. I have a problem I can’t control. I can’t survive without help, and I can’t convince people I deserve the help I need.