I think there’s also a lot of confirmation bias that goes in to this.
If I look at someone, and you think they’re what I find attractive, I’m “staring”.
I have a habit of looking at folks when they walk into a room, it’s strangely only suggestive when they’re dressed to attract attention. Is that really on me?
My brother is gay and let’s say “not shy”. He can stare all he wants because unless the object of his attention is also gay, it’s rarely noticed. He used to joke that as long as you keep your eyes north of the belt, no one cares. Hanging out with him is educational.
People who honestly stare are usually trying to be obvious and hoping to attract attention in return, but it happens a lot less frequently than “guys” are reputed to stare, methinks.