I’ve always said I would, but probably not. Shooting someone is pretty final. I had my chance a few weeks ago while I was docked in Fort-de-France getting ready for the trip back home to St. Lucia. Fort-de-France is the big city in these parts.
I was sleeping in the cabin at the bow of my boat. The door was open so I could see through the the salon to the gangway hatch leading to the deck. I woke up when I heard somebody sliding stuff around and saw the silhouette of a guy in the gangway, backlit by the dock lights. I have a .357 magnum in the drawer in the side table and the bottom half of a cue stick up against the bulkhead next to my berth.
I watched him fuck around with some of my electronics for a sec, then yelled at him to get the fuck off the boat. He started ripping electronics out of the console, so I grabbed the cue stick and charged him. He dropped everything and ran back up the gangway with me right after him. He made it to the cockpit above decks at the stern then turn on me. I whacked that motherfucker up side the head as hard I could and fell over the transom into the water. I was yelling at him the whole time.
I watched the water wondering if I was going to have to fish that fuckwad out and he popped up and began to slowly swim away. LOL. I called the harbor master and later some gendarmes showed up with the guy. He was a local (Martinique), early twenties, his head was all bandage up and he didn’t look too good. I showed them the damage and filed a complaint and they dragged him away to the hoosegow.
I thought about the gun. I could have put a couple of rounds in him from my bed. Serously, I always said that I would. i don’t know why I went for the cue stick. I think it was that the guy was shorter than me. The cops said I was stupid. But this one dumb motherfucker now has a chance to change his ways and maybe do something good in life.