A lot, but honestly very few times where I thought it was a problem.
A couple that stand out as points where I learned something
- I had a lady and her husband that I was waiting on stack up money on the table in front of her and said I could have it, but had to come around and sit in her lap. Ok. Then she got handsy. It was weird in a “what kind of scene are you guys in?” way, but I didn’t feel threatened. She’d had some drinks, but I wouldn’t say she was drunk.
– I was talking smack to a manager about his much younger partners. He walked over and gave me the pat down and butt squeeze before declaring me too old and bony, with some other choice words. He got me quiet, well played sir. I assume he was sober.
– Cooks in the kitchen had a game for a long time where they try to get your scrotum with tongs before you realized what they were doing. They were mostly male, but the female cooks would get the biggest cheers. I don’t know if it’s really a grope, but I was 18ish and it’s the first time I remember wondering about workplace culture.
I think it’s pretty common in service industry jobs, from both customers and staff. I’m guessing that hasn’t changed much, really. So I wonder quite a bit about the differences in how people feel about it. Why does it affect some people in such a far reaching way?
I also wonder if many men tend to be galvanized by the tiny mistreatments (verbal and physical) we give and get since childhood. Does that differentiate threats somehow?
I’m not minimizing what anyone has gone through or saying how they feel is wrong, just trying to wrap my mind around how other people are affected and experiences outside my own.
Part of what I’m realizing is that those that are affected tend to not talk about it much, those that aren’t can tell a funny story so I’m guessing there’s a bias towards hearing more from those that don’t mind.