Have you ever had a friend, most likely, but not always, a female, who picked an abusive mate, and ended up staying with him despite all sorts of horrible manipulation and ill treatment? And then they say something like this (this is an actual quote from a former friend of mine who refused help or intervention to get her away from her abusive husband) she said with a dreamy look in her eyes, “He’s my lifeblood.”
My friend and her abusive husband smoked a lot of pot, and drank. The last time I saw her she was a shell of a woman. Even her loving parents, and a group of dedicated friends couldn’t persuade her to leave him.
I hadn’t seen her in about 10 years, when one of our mutual friends saw her somewhere. The abused woman told our mutual friend, “We were never friends, that was just something I said to you. I’ve never been friends with any of you. I was just playing a game.” This statement was so messed up. This woman had been a dear friend to many of us, but her husband messed her up, and because he was abusive (and charismatic to her) she was willing to do whatever he told jer to do.
This woman was a kind, artistically talented, altruistic extrovert when I met her. Her sick fuck of a husband was able to manipulate her into a shy, lying, scared person, who would do anything he demanded her to do. It was so sad to know that she was beyond help.