How can it be natural that true love isn’t a choice if it holds the heart hostage?
People are drawn together by their biological and emotional needs, which are experienced as feelings of the heart. However, these attractive forces are not love. They are the soil out of which love may grow as the relationship deepens.
Initially, the desire to satisfy these needs masks the totality of the persona that each brings into the relationship. As one becomes increasingly conscious of the other’s character unanticipated aspects become apparent, some of which may be unpleasant. It is at this point that one will struggle with conflicting feelings, wanting to be closer yet wanting to flee.
True love requires the love of one’s self. The immature individual will find it difficult to preserve their deeper sense of self, choosing instead to deny the reality of the relationship. Surrendering to the demands of their heart and denying the need for self-respect makes one hostage. The more mature will accept that it is better to endure the pain of separation than to submit their irrational impulses.