I’ve actually been really impressed with most of the teens I come in contact with in person. Maybe there’s some kind of selection bias, but their outlook seems way ahead of where I remember me and my peers being at their age.
Don’t get me wrong, they say and do stupid things, but they’re supposed to. Overall the group about to be adults seems to be more conscientious and comfortable with who they are than I remember my group being.
That said, I think if we’re going to throw so many measurements, tests, and contests at kids, starting by measuring them against themselves over time rather than against each other would eliminate a lot of the early classifying the seems to go on way before we’re fully formed as people. It would also give them more encouragement with their personal strengths and help kids find something of their own.
Why does a third grader need to know where they fall on an academic scale relative to their classmates or averages? What’s the kid the 30th percentile shooting for exactly? Passing? Wouldn’t it be better to measure them against themselves until it becomes important? Celebrate progress rather than absolute measurements.
I think parents can help by getting kids more involved in some things outside the social aspects of high school. Can you imagine if you had to get all your friends from work and didn’t have other pools to pull from? I think that happens to a lot of kids too, so having some other social circles can really help.
Most people don’t hit their stride until after high school, but when you’re in it it can seem like the whole world. Anything parents and teachers can show outside of that is going to lend some perspective.