I moved out at 19 to start my new life. My husband died when I was 37 & my parents were getting on in years; so, I moved back in with them until I could get reestablished back in my hometown. Then I found a good job & moved out into my own place on the other side of town. Then I had a debilitating stroke that left me unable to live by myself. So, I was back to living with my parents at 40. It took me over a year to get back where I could live alone.That’s when I found a nice home within a mile of my parents home. This helped all of us because they could keep an eye on me & it was convenient IF I needed help. I could also keep an eye on them for when THEY needed help. It was as convenient as living with them without having to live together. When my Mom came down with the disease that crippled her, I’d go over & stay part of the day to get them started for the day. Then my dad could take over for the rest of their day. He loved her deeply & it gave him the opportunity to feel that he had control over taking care of her. Then several years after Mom passed, dad came down with cancer. He wasn’t ready to give up his independence, so I checked in with him in the mornings to make sure he was up, dressed, fed, & had taken his meds. When I cooked his lunch, I’d make enough for his dinner too. Then I’d go back home to take care of my day & he popped the leftovers in the microwave to feed himself dinner. This helped him to feel more independent while still allowing me to watch over him. IF he had a problem, he would call me & I could scoot back over.
Actually, living so close was the perfect setup as we didn’t have to live together & I could get a break from my caregiver duties even if only for a short amount of time. Even when his cancer worsened & he had to go to the hospital, it was only 2 miles from home; so, I’d stay with him during the day & go home at night because he preferred to be alone at night.