With my immediate family scattered and having been so since the mid 70’s we always had the holidays at my in-laws. All four children and their families would show up, all crowding into a house that was too small to hold them all; loud, hectic and stressful. This was my holiday season for 30 years. About ten years ago something that happened in Vegas that did not stay in Vegas and this came to a crashing end.
All the women in the family took a trip to Las Vegas to celebrate my Mother-in-laws birthday. As one of the activities they signed up for and went on a pub crawl As they boarded the bus after the last stop one of my nieces said something insulting to my daughter-in-law and the shit hit the fan. No blows were thrown, only because of the intervention of other family members but things were said and feelings were hurt and the two women (both in their early 20’s) did not speak for the rest of the trip. My wife told her sister to stay out of it and let them sort it out between themselves but, like Ron White once said, “I had the right to remain silent….but I didn’t have the ability” my S-I-L had to jump in feet first and pick sides.
The result was a family split that survives to this day. Everyone is still civil with each other but it was the end of the huge family get-together. Now my M-I-L takes turns going to dinner at either our house (or one of our kids) or my sister-in-laws house (or one of her kids). One brother-in-law goes wherever his mom goes and the other doesn’t go to either. Starting a couple of years back, each sister will make noises about getting together but neither expects the other to show up at the family holiday.
Disfunction in action.