Many of you know my bio father has never wanted to, or been in my life-even when I was on death’s door as a child, and I was very angry with him for most of my life. He lives five minutes from me and we don’t communicate at all. He rejected visitation when offered it, too.

However, I do communicate with some members of the family with no issues, we just don’t discuss him.

When I was around 37 yrs old I decided for my own mental health to write him a letter of forgiveness and never make another attempt to reach out. The rejection was just too much to keep putting myself through.

Recently he got on social media and is commenting on mutual friends pages, and friended people he doesn’t know, but that I’m friends with. It’s hard for me, because there are unanswered questions I’d really like answered. I don’t expect him to want to communicate now that he’s 70 years old, but people change.

I don’t have enough emotional distance to see the situation clearly, so I thought I’d ask all of you.

Would you recommend I try once again, or would you suggest just leaving the past in the past and staying ‘over it’?

If you recommend my trying again, what would I even say to him in a message?

(He is a Vietnam vet that flew helicopters and has always been an alcoholic after the war, per his family.)