When someone yells at me I have an extreme fear that they will do something harmful to me, which is a fear based in past experiences. Yelling at me while threatening or criticizing me is perceived as danger by my brain and I respond accordingly.
I no longer tolerate being yelled at. If you need a moment to compose yourself, fine, I get it. Even I yell, we all have those moments. I grew up in an environment where yelling was (still is) the standard method of communicating.
If it’s a pattern of behavior, you’ll need to learn a better way to communicate or stay the hell away from me.
I don’t feel it’s necessary to yell at me because most of the time because I try very hard to be a good listener and I want to understand what you’re trying to say. If you’re yelling at me to intimidate or bully me, I’m not going to talk to you. If you are like me and you yell when you’re not being heard or you are feeling defensive, then I will try to redirect the conversation to taking some time to cool down and then trying again when both people are calm.