Transference is when a client personalizes, either negatively or positively, a therapeutic relationship by unconsciously projecting characteristics of someone from a former relationship onto a therapist or practitioner.
Signs: Client will try to be more personally involved, ask personal questions unrelated to visit, try to get extra time during or at the end of session, invite to social activities, bring gifts/favors, propose friendship or sexual involvement, or demand time and attention and get angry, disappointed, or feel rejected if they don’t get it.
Transference is normal and isn’t a problem if it’s recognized and addressed. It’s an inevitable and natural part of therapy. When we experience a transference reaction to our therapist, it’s usually because they did or said something that reminded us of what one of our parents said or did when we were children. So if our mother was critical growing up, and our therapist says something which we interpret as critical, we will likely react with anger, sullenness, fear, etc – whatever negative feeling we felt when our mother criticized us.
It’s not as simple as saying that our therapist felt romantic toward us (which is rare) or that we were attracted to our therapist. It happens both with opposite sex and same sex therapists.
Here’s a couple of good articles:
https://www.opencounseling.com/blog/transference-why-this-little-understood-concept-is-so-important-to-therapy (really good)
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/transference