Social Question

kneesox's avatar

Parents: do you ever envy people who have no kids?

Asked by kneesox (4593points) November 14th, 2021
27 responses
“Great Question” (4points)

I’d expect different answers depending on your kids’ ages, but we do have our moments with them at any age.

Why won’t the topics let me list ‘kids’ as a topic? I’ve put it back in 4 times and it just deletes.

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Answers

Blackwater_Park's avatar

Well I don’t have any and that is the biggest regret in my life so…

snowberry's avatar

No.In my experience, many/most folks who have no children are not very compassionate toward those of us who do. I wouldn’t want to be like that.

Dutchess_III's avatar

No. I respect their choice. Lord if you know you don’t want kids it’s best to not have any. But having kids defined my whole life. I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Response moderated
jca2's avatar

The only time I’m envious of childless people is when it comes to scheduling vacations, because the school schedule governs when we can go on vacation. We’re stuck with summer, Christmas, winter, spring and an occasional long weekend. Those same times are when every other family is on vacation, as well, so resorts are crowded, roads are crowded, etc.

Mimishu1995's avatar

@snowberry FYI, there is currently a “child free” movement among young people, in retaliation to narrow-minded adults who judge them by their decision to have children. Some people become so extreme that they hate on everyone with children. And there are also people who think anyone who chooses not to have children are somehow defective.

So yeah, there are two sides of the story. There are nasty people with children and nasty people without children.

cheebdragon's avatar

You’d be surprised how often I wish that other people didn’t have kids.

Dutchess_III's avatar

Right @cheebdragon? It’s like obviously you hate them. Why you out here screaming at them, obviously ready to have another one??

SQUEEKY2's avatar

I get that feeling of envy from people towards Mrs Squeeky and myself for choosing not to participate in parenthood.

canidmajor's avatar

I haven’t ever envied people who don’t have kids, but I can understand how some might. I really hate the attitude that that has turned it into an Us vs Them thing. Ain’t nobody else’s business.

chyna's avatar

^Agree. Especially with people being nosy enough to want to know why someone had kids or didn’t have kids!

snowberry's avatar

@Mimishu1995 Yes, I’ve run into a few of them. We’ve had a few of them here too. One of the oddest things I’ve noticed is when someone was selling an item on eBay advertising that it was from a “child free” home. I can see selling an item from a “smoke free” home, but child free? SMH.

jca2's avatar

When I was pregnant, and told my mom I was pregnant, one of the things she said was “it gives your life another dimension.” That’s definitely very accurate.

I know what it was like to be childless, because I was childless for 41 years. I did what I wanted when I wanted, and that was great. Most childless people don’t know the opposite – what it’s like to have a child. Definitely my life gained another dimension. It’s not all glitter and roses – there’s a lot of concern, worry, and stuff like that and definitely a big savings (paying for day care and camp was a killer, and we’re not even at college yet), but there’s also a lot of joy, in a multitude of ways.

When I got pregnant, I was at the point in my life, financially and emotionally, where I would have been fine not having a child and I could have had a great life, but there are no regrets now. I can see the ladvantages and disadvantages of both ways, being childless or having a child.

Dutchess_III's avatar

“Another dimension.” Wow. That’s the best way to put it.

KNOWITALL's avatar

I’m pretty happy being childfree but I hate hearing parents complain about their children. It’s just sad.

Being childfree gives me time and resources to help my community full of children, too.

Dutchess_III's avatar

I hate it when parents don’t have the faintest idea how to parent too.
I shared a memory on FB from two years ago. I walked into a restaurant and there was a great commotion coming from the back of the restaurent..
My first thought was “We have some tired kids in here.”
However, as we got closer I realized the kids were not tired. Their parents were “playing” with them, chasing them through the restaurant!! WTAF??? And you know the parents are thinking “Everyone thinks I’m a great mom because the kids are having so much fun!”

JLeslie's avatar

I have a couple of very close friends who I know have had times when they envied or wished they didn’t have children, but it’s fleeting.

One of them told her children not to have kids. Actually, that is not fleeting, she’s serious, and has reinforced to her children that sentiment when the topic comes up.

The other friend told me when her son was still very young that I was smart not to have kids. I always wanted kids so it’s not that smart had anything to do with it.

nikipedia's avatar

Nope. But I have the world’s best kids.

Cupcake's avatar

Yes, often. But we now live across the country from all friends and family and have had no breaks in parenting since mid March 2020. I am completely exhausted and burned out. And we probably have two neurodivergent children who have multiple daily meltdowns. While they are absolutely great kids who I adore and love tremendously, life is very hard right now.

Dutchess_III's avatar

Wish I could be there to give you a break @Cupcake. Hugs.

RocketGuy's avatar

No – kids cost us a lot of $$$, but bringing kids on travel is much easier than bringing pets.

KNOWITALL's avatar

@Cupcake She would give you a break, she’s so nice. Big hugs.
*Can you find a sitter thru a service? Like another mom who you can trade off with once a week maybe who understands the kids?

Cupcake's avatar

@KNOWITALL Definitely not until the kids are fully vaccinated. Options might open up a bit for us when that happens.

KNOWITALL's avatar

@Cupcake Ah, that makes sense. I have two neighbors with neurodivurgent children and they just happened to move next door to each other. It’s actually really neat and I think they are both much happier. :)

Jons_Blond's avatar

Not at all. I’m watching my 87 year old father try to get by and he wouldn’t be able to do it without his daughters. I’m so grateful to have children who will be there for me if I’m lucky enough to live that long.

All the hard, stressful years are gone before you know it. Having adult children is worth the struggle.

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