Unfortunately, shy children always give off the vibe to others that they want to be left alone. I wasn’t too shy but I often had my moments of wanting to be left alone. I did have a problem walking home and looking at peoples eyes when I hit my early teen years because I had zits.
I could go from talkative to strangers and vibrant when a topic interested me to leave me alone. I especially wanted to be left alone a lot during my high school years. At the time my father was very ill so I would go into fits bouts of sadness because I knew his days were not going to be many. My sister was very shy and she either came off as being aloof or just sweet. She finally overcame it in College.
As for yourself, please stop apologizing for being human. We all navigate life differently. Nobody has the book titled, “How to be a perfect human being” because it doesn’t exist. Apologies are only needed when you purposely harm someone. Even Ghandi could be an ass.
I don’t know if you believe in God or not, but my dad use to tell me to hold my head high because God doesn’t make junk. You, my dear, are made the way you are supposed to be. That doesn’t mean we are not meant to improve upon ourselves or help others. That is part of our beautiful design. Humans are flawed as heck but I think those flaws are what help us to grow and change. If we were all perfect, life would be so f-ing boring.
By the way. People never really know what love is until they learn to love themselves. Not like a narcissist loves themselves. I mean you see your flaws (not physically) and you learn to try to improve them.
Like I know mine isn’t that I am not always kind or willing to go the extra mile to help someone if I feel it’s inconvenient at the time. I can be selfish. I accept that about myself and understand its my flaw and I try to remember to be less selfish. At the same time, a little bit of selfishness is necessary sometimes because some people can drain your energy.
I’m sure some people on fluther could name others. Like my novels. LOL. I try to see my flaws as best I can but sometime its hard seeing them from the inside.
Your flaw is you are too hard on yourself. You can vent or seek help. It is always your right. It’s not your shyness that is your real issue. I’m no therapist. But for my two cents, I think you learned somewhere along the way that it’s wrong to want things or ask for them. It’s wrong to expect things. But never wrong to ask.